I recently connected with Megan Spillman, a Certified KonMari consultant and the founder of Peace and Tidy, LLC. I was intrigued by her passion of helping others create joyful and mentally healthy spaces. Our home environment can have such an impact on our mood. Below she shares her insights on creating such a space post-divorce.
All the best, Jennifer
Create Joy in Your Space After Divorce
“But when we really delve into the reasons for why we can’tlet something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or a fear forthe future.” — Marie Kondo
The transitions during divorce can feel unsettling. Whetheryou are moving homes or staying in the marital home, creating a space where youcan relax and care for yourself and family is key. The circumstancessurrounding your space might not be entirely within your control and might betemporary. You may not want to move, or you may be anxious and ready to move,but can’t. Your budget for creating a new space might be limited ornon-existent.
How can you begin to create a space that supports the personyou are now and what you need? Here are a few tips to consider.
Connect with your intuition. Not surewhat brings you joy right now? Think of the spaces where you have felt mostjoyful in your life. This could range from your grandma’s kitchen to an epicbeach vacation. Close your eyes and conjure up a memory of a place that bringsYOU joy.
Describe your new ideal lifestyle in a fewwords, and let those words be your guide. Focus on how you want to feel inyour space now.
Consider how you want to spend your time.Are there hobbies you would like to bring back into your life? Or maybe a hobbyor home maintenance responsibility to let go of, for example gardening if youare downsizing to a smaller space? The items in your home now should supportthe person you are now and how you enjoy spending your time now.
Budget concerns? Consider low cost or nocost ways to shift the energy in your space. Change furniture placement. Painta room or two. Put up small shelves or hooks exactly where you want them. Checkout budget friendly resources for items (online resale groups, consignmentstores etc.). Add something small and budget friendly that brings you comfort,like a cozy blanket or artwork with encouraging words or images.
There are no rules about what to keep or notkeep, though it’s important to make intentional decisions about what you havein your home now. Delaying decisions may not make it easier to make them.Common concerns when reviewing items might be 1) I might need thissomeday. 2) it feels wasteful to not keep this because it was expensive orsomeone gave it as a gift. 3) I feel bad about keeping or discarding weddinggifts. Challenge yourself to make decisions based on the life you are creatingand where you want to be now. Maybe thisfeels difficult or maybe you are overwhelmed with excitement.
Reach out for support as create your newspace. Family and friends may be helpful and excited to support you in thisprocess. It may be an opportunity to reconnect with people. You may find ithelpful to reach out to a professional organizer who is trained to supportpeople through transitions. In any case, know that you can find support if youfeel stuck making decisions and need a path forward.
It is brave to make decisions to make yourself feel better. The small decisions may build up your confidence for bigger decisions as you move forward in your new life.Focus on what you need right now in your space to feel your best and move forward.
Megan Spillman is a member of the National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals (NAPO) and holds certificates in household management, residential organizing, life transitions and workplace productivity. Prior to pursuing a career in professional organizing, she managed the Chicago office of the Institute of International Education (IIE) and served as the director of student services for the Fulbright Foreign Student Program, the U.S. Department of State’s flagship international educational exchange program. She’s a mom to a 4 year old named Alister and a 10 year old Boston Terrier named Otto.