Back-to-School Anxiety: When Excitement and Worry Can Exist Together

By Beth Schweitzer

Fall is my favorite time of year! Halloween, pumpkin patches, crisp mornings, and back-to-school season have always held a special place in my heart. I remember being thrilled to pick out all my folders and matching notebooks. My pens and pencils had to be perfectly organized inside my brand-new pencil case before everything was carefully tucked into my new backpack. I loved the crunch of leaves beneath my feet as I walked to school with my neighbors and friends.

I loved going back to school.

But I also remember printing out my class schedule and writing it inside every notebook so I wouldn't accidentally go to the wrong classroom. I'd study the school map, planning the fastest route between classes so I wouldn't get lost or arrive late. Looking back, I realize both of those feelings were true at the same time—I was excited, and I was nervous.

That's the thing about back-to-school season: it can be exciting and scary all at once. And it's not just the kids who experience those emotions.

When my son first started school, I was heartbroken at the thought of leaving him somewhere without family for an entire day. On mornings when he didn't want to go, a part of me didn't want him to go either. But I also knew that attending school was an important part of helping him grow, build confidence, and learn independence. The back-to-school transition can be emotional for everyone involved, but understanding what's normal—and knowing how to help—can make the adjustment much smoother.

When Are Back-to-School Jitters Normal?

According to experts, back-to-school anxiety is incredibly common. Even children who aren't typically anxious may experience nervousness before the new school year begins, and parents often feel anxious right alongside them. New teachers, unfamiliar classmates, changing routines, and uncertainty about what to expect can make anyone feel uneasy.

Certain transition years tend to be especially stressful, including:

• Starting kindergarten
• Beginning middle school
• Entering high school

These milestones come with many new experiences, making it completely understandable for children (and parents!) to need a little extra reassurance.

What Does Anxiety Look Like in Children?

Back-to-school anxiety doesn't always sound like a child saying, "I'm nervous." Instead, it often shows up in other ways.

Some children may:

• Have difficulty separating from their parents at drop-off.
• Become more emotional or have frequent tantrums.
• Avoid activities they normally enjoy, both at school and outside of school.
• Have trouble getting along with siblings or friends.
• Complaints of stomachaches, headaches, fatigue, or difficulty sleeping.

These physical symptoms are very real. Anxiety can cause children to experience genuine stomach pain or headaches, even when there isn't an underlying illness.

In many cases, these worries gradually improve over the first few weeks of school as children settle into their new routines. However, if anxiety continues for more than a month or begins interfering significantly with daily life, it may be time to speak with your child's pediatrician or a mental health professional.

Helping Ease the Transition

While we can't eliminate every first-day worry, we can help children feel more prepared and confident.

Start routines early. About one to two weeks before school begins, gradually shift bedtime and wake-up schedules to match the school routine. Lay out clothes the night before and prepare backpacks in advance to make mornings feel calmer. If your child finds transitions harder than most, you can start this a month ahead of time so they feel more confident and ready when school comes.

Practice before the first day. Visit the school if possible. Walk the hallways, locate classrooms, practice the drop-off routine, and meet teachers or staff members. Simply becoming familiar with the environment can reduce a child's fear of the unknown. If transitions are harder, you might follow your morning routine and go to school at the normal time and play outside for a bit before going back home to practice.

Reconnect with friends. Scheduling playdates before school starts allows children to reconnect with classmates and helps school feel more familiar when the first day arrives.

Listen without trying to "fix" everything. Sometimes children simply need to know their feelings are understood. Instead of dismissing worries by saying, "You'll be fine," try saying, "It makes sense that you're nervous. Starting something new can feel scary." Validating their emotions helps children feel heard while reminding them they are capable of handling difficult feelings.

Notice your own stress. Children are incredibly perceptive. If we're feeling overwhelmed or anxious about the school year, they often pick up on those emotions. Taking care of ourselves and modeling calm confidence can help our children feel more secure.

Celebrate their courage. After school, focus on praising effort rather than perfection. Acknowledge how brave they were for trying something new or making it through a difficult morning. Those small moments of encouragement can build confidence over time.

What About School Refusal?

It's common for children to protest going to school occasionally. However, regularly refusing to attend school, repeatedly asking to come home early, or experiencing intense distress every morning may be signs of school refusal.

Although it can be tempting to let an anxious child stay home, avoiding school can unintentionally reinforce anxiety. The longer children stay away, the harder returning to school often becomes. Instead, working with the school to create a gradual transition plan—such as meeting a trusted staff member at drop-off or practicing the morning routine ahead of time—can help children build confidence while maintaining attendance.

If your child frequently complains of physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches, it's always reasonable to check in with your pediatrician to rule out any medical concerns while also considering whether anxiety may be contributing.

A Gentle Reminder for Parents

As parents, we want to protect our children from uncomfortable feelings. Watching them struggle can tug at every part of our hearts. But some of the greatest confidence grows from learning that we can do hard things—even when we're nervous.

Whether your child runs into school with excitement or clings to your leg at the classroom door, remember that both reactions can be completely normal. With preparation, patience, reassurance, and consistency, most children adjust beautifully as the school year gets underway.

So as you pack lunches, sharpen pencils, and snap those first-day-of-school pictures, give yourself grace too. This season is full of change for the whole family. And just like our children, we're learning, growing, and finding our footing one school day at a time.

References

Child Mind Institute. (n.d.). Back-to-school anxiety: How to help kids transition back to school. https://childmind.org/article/back-school-anxiety/

Johns Hopkins Medicine. (n.d.). 5 tips to ease back-to-school anxiety. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/5-tips-to-ease-backtoschool-anxiety

I can also adapt this for a parenting magazine, pediatric clinic newsletter, or blog if you have a specific publication or word count in mind.

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